I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
