Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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