forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
