just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
