i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
