Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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