69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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