will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize