Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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