Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
