Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize