Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Life is so much better after having sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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