Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
