So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
