Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
