Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
