So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
