My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
