so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
