This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
