id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
