While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
