I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
