Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
