My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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