I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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