forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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