You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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