Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
