Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Congratulations! We have a period
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
