My balls are so social today.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize