have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
