Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
