so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How naked do you want me to be?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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