this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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