Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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