mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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