So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
