I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
