Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
