Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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