Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize