I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
