the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize