Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
