the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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