if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
