Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize