Taylor Swift is so right about you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
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