he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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