Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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