dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
