GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
