so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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